New Year's Eve: Safe Swedish meatballs over noodles

This turned out amazingly delicious and stroganoffy. Thanks, mom, for making the recipe up!

1 lb ground beef

1lb ground pork (I went with veal because Muslims were partying with us)

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp pepper

1 tbsp parsley flakes

1 small grated onion

2 eggs' worth of eggbeaters

3 rice cakes

water to dampen rice cakes

Gravy:

1 cup beef broth
1 cup veal broth

1 tsp Worcestershire

salt and pepper

splash red wine for flavor (alcohol cooks off)

Into bowl crumble rice cakes and dampen with water and smash up. (use just enough water to soak rice)- let sit until mushy.

When rice is soft add meats and spices w/onion and egg product-combine well. Roll into balls and bake @ 350 for approx 30-45 minutes or until cooked through (depends on size of balls rolled). Remove meatballs and make gravy with drippings. Into hot drippings add 3-4 tbsp rice flour and stir into a roux- brown for a few seconds to remove flour taste. Slowly add 2 cups stock whisking constantly. Season with salt and pepper and heat until thickened and smooth (if lumps form you can strain). Add wine if using and additional seasoning as needed. Put meatballs back into sauce and heat through.

Served over rice fusilli and thrilled a party full of non-safe eaters.

Safe Nut Bread

I've been bragging all week about being a postapocalyptic homesteader's dream wife - I can make bread from anything! - so today I'll bake a killer loaf and redeem my internal doubts about said bragging.

1 c teff
1/2 c amaranth flour
1/4 c sorghum flour

1/2 c ground hazelnuts
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp. ground nutmeg
2 egg's worth EnergE egg replacer
1 1/2 c plain goat yogurt
1/4 c canola oil
1/4 c walnut oil

Preheat oven to 375F. Grease medium bread pan with oil. Combine dry ingredients in a large bowl and then make a well in the center. Add eggs, yogurt, and oil to the center and combine them before folding into the rest of the dry ingredients. Pour or spoon batter into your bread pan. Bake for half an hour or until a toothpick comes out clean. Cool for a few minutes before removing from pan, and then cool on a wire rack.

Results? A bit too crumbly, but utterly delicious. Light. Crunchy edges. Rich flavor. Next time? Perhaps I'll add some agave for moisture, and another fake egg for assemblage.

It's Been Months

There was Christmas. Cheating. Bronchitis. Varied bowel disasters (Magnesium!) and pleasant surprises (no consequences after a Chick Fil-A breakfast biscuit). Disheartening trial and error baking errors. Marvelously beautiful life distractions. And now I'm going to make myself some bread.



New tack:
Fuck the wacky specifics from Wangen's blood work. I'm eating pineapple and garlic and asparagus and tomatoes.
Gluten, sugar, processed foods, yeast, dairy that isn't from goats - all still clearly not the best idea, and therefore out with exception of celebratory cheating.